There were few times - very few - when he held me in the darkness after I woke up from a nightmare. But when he did, it wasn't as if the fear would leave me. It never made the darkness go away either. My demons were still out there. The nightmares were still walking.
.
When he held me, I did not feel safe, but I felt better. "It's all right," he'd whisper in my ear. "I'm here with you. I love you," and then he'd go on to lie: "I'll never leave you."
Then, just for a moment or two the darkness didn't seem so bad.
In my attempts to spread some smiles, following are real incidents and quotes from the wonderful people who are a part of my life... :-)
On securing a scholarship to graduate school, Julia's dad to her:
"My wallet will love you forever!"
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Tabahi jee tabahi!!
-Saira, complimenting Raaji's photograph
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Sarah: Wow... its huge!
NR [looks down at his crotch]: Well, thank you.
-I was talking about the hat!
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"You're telling me bro? On Saturday, I stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to turn GREEN.... I need to stop smoking this shit."
-overheard in class
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Looking at a postcard...
Frank: We couldn't publish this one.
Raaji: Why not?
Frank: Because it seems like this one has drawings that are Disney copyrighted. We called the lawyer and faxed him the postcard. He called us back and said, MICKEY MOUSE WILL SUE YOUR ASS!!
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"Oh baby, body heat works the best. We are going to live the green way. You know, play our part for the environment."
-Shan, while charming a woman.
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"I happen to like rabbits... especially the white ones."
-Whitney,
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The following took place some time around 2am....
Rachel: Well, if no one wants to drink then why are we going to the bar?
Shaf: I dont know... picking up girls [*winking at Marvin*]
Rachel: Well if thats what you want to do then wouldn't the fraternity house be a better place to go to?
Marvin: No, there isn't much quality there.
Rachel: You mean the townie girls are better than college girls?
Marvin: No, its more like they are drunk so you cant really do much with them.
Rachel: But isn't that the idea to pick up a girl at 2am? You get the girl, go in and out and get done with it.
[*Both guys look at her*]
Rachel: Oh...No, No, Noooo, that is not what I meant. I really didn't mean it that way. Damn!
-As Ted Mosby says: nothing good happens after 2am.
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“Am I in the men's restroom AGAIN?”
-Natasha, first she gives 5 men in the restroom angry looks and then realizes that she is the one in the wrong place.
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Raaji [on her train of thought]: Yeah... sometimes it leaves the station before I get back.
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"I know you want me... You know I want cha!"
Shaf, singing to his cheesecake
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For More, please click the "Funny Quotes" tab on the menu bar at the top of the page
This is a beautiful flower. But this is not a rose. She might pass for being a rose to some people. From time to time, she might trick you into thinking that she is one. She is beautiful but not the rose. This is an important distinction to notice. All her life she is pressured into being like a rose - longing to be the symbol of love, irresistible desire, and ephemeral beauty. But she will never amount up to being one. She is just not cut in the right places. She will never be as beautiful or as precious as a rose. Someone might pluck her off her plant thinking she is a rose but toss her as soon as he realizes she isn't one. The curse of this flower is that they do not let her stay with her plant because she looks like a rose but they do not keep her with them either because she is not a rose. So, she is neither her plant's nor his who plucks her. She belongs to essentially no one. Yet she continues to hope.... stupid flower!
As I walked on those railway tracks, I constantly found my right sneaker loosening up. After the third time when I had to stop and tighten the shoe lace, I realized that these sneakers are just old now. That it is time to let them go - just like everything else. I have had these sneakers for five years now. I made two attempts to buy new ones over the course of this time but I couldn't make myself do it. These were too good to me and I was too loyal to them.
This is the dilemma with us Americans. We lead lonely lives. We attach ourselves too much to inanimate objects. We are driven out of our homes and when people disappoint us, which they will, we turn to pets. When those die, we develop an affinity towards objects because that is the only thing left to hold on to. For me, it is physically painful to let an old object go.
Places - we hold places dear more than we hold people who live in them. We don't have homes, we have States we belong to, and God help you if you were to say anything disagreeable about *our* State.
But just like people, we have to leave places. When objects wear off we have to let them go too. Sometimes, I wonder what would become of us when we have nothing to hold on to.
It is as if mother nature knows that I want to be somewhere else.
She taunts me with her rain - knowing my desire that if I were just light enough for her wind to carry me to my destination.
You win this time, dear nature, but tomorrow is a new day and I won't be stopped. There is a force carrying me there with much more intent than your pitiful breeze.
Oh rain, you will pass and my fire will still be burning.
My previous template was called "Watercolor". I vividly recall that when I uploaded it, there was color in my life - all splashed everywhere . That's not the case anymore. There are remnants of some red and gold but they are not as bright or vibrant as they used to be.
Perhaps it is that time again - the time when you shed the old skin and reveal the tenderness underneath. I let go of a little part of myself to embrace another. There is something slowly breaking inside of me. There is something slowly changing.
As I bid farewell to this small town in order to embrace an unknown destination, I take what I call mine. There isn't much though - they are all good at cleaning up behind themselves; they make sure I get nothing.
It seems to me that we can never give up hoping and longing while we are still alive. There are certain things we know are beautiful and pure, so we must hunger for them. When colors come back - if they do - the happy spirited vibrant colors I love, I shall splash them here as well.
For now, I settle for a leather journal and this template.
My friend always assured me that he will be there for me whenever I need him. But that is not true. Where was that jerk when I got in a fight… with HIM! He was supposed to back me up, but NO, he took HIS side. So I'm torn between wanting to get back to the way we were, and knowing in my heart that he deserves a good kick in the ribs.
Its a tricky thing to engage in a fight - with a friend. I find myself very perplexed in moments like these. I know it is not going to amount up to anything but I cant help but yell at him. But looking back at it, I thoroughly enjoy how my friends fight:
Guys - they usually wrestle around, throw a few jabs at each other and work the stress out so that everything's back to normal. I usually apply the same approach. Cut the drama, throw a few punches (or anything approachable that I can throw which wouldn't break), burn off some steam and once we are tired from the sheer absurdness, we sit in silence for a few minutes before one of us goes, "Wanna go grab a bite? I am hungry now", "Sure" and the rest is history.
Girls - now they are a whole another story. As a part of their programming, they will engage in a 72-hour mental warfare (usually over me) in which each will pretend to not be mad and that the other is not noticing that she is pretending to not be mad. Reread it if you must. It makes sense I promise. At which point the first to get mad loses, is named the "B*tch" and must be the one to dish out the ice cream in the make-up ritual. They will ironically trade dirty gossip about the other members of their circle, causing the cycle to repeat itself. They'll gulp down spoonfuls of Rocky Road not at all realizing the inherent symbolism.
So which argument style is better? Healthier? Most damaging? I can't say.
