Responsibility to Revenge

Within the darkest shadows of my mind I hide the lovely child I once was. How time twists the soul, ensnares the senses, betrays the heart and perverts the mind. Those who are grown in hatred and violence will fear and hate their creators. We are "fucking worthless," or so they tell us.

The youth of this generation are abandoned, growing to not understand love, only humiliation and distrust from our superiors. It's sad when one stops and looks at all the anguish and depression a child can hold at such a young age.

Responsibility. We are entrusted with the responsibility of the adults and are taken from what we enjoy.

Regret. The word that is always on their minds, but it isn't enough anymore, no more lies to cover our sanity. One's aggression and discomfort should not be the reason to tear another down. And so we turn to soldiers ready to fight and fall.

Blood. We do not fear to shed our own but the innocent never leave.

Resentment. We hate and resent anyone who has done us wrong, for it was not our choice to exist.

Revenge. To become better than them, and leave our superiors to wither and rot, in the shadows of our conscience.

Life is Funny (21)

Real life incidents and quotes from the lovely people who are a part of my life :-)

If you are looking for alcohol, Ma'am, it is all inside my belly.
- a very drunk student sitting in the lounge and talking to the RA on duty which would be yours truly.
----

Marvin: How is that paper coming along?
Lyndsay: The paper is in desperate need of completion.
-in all seriousness
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What if God didn't intend for us to eat the animals? He must have been pretty freaked out when we started.
-Emily
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NR: hey pretty woman...
R: How are you, lover boy?
NR: Lonely.
- scandalous 3am text messages.
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During a class discussion on crime and youth...
Professor: Well we blame it on the testosterones... It makes men violent.
Raajii (loud enough for the class to hear): It makes men idiots!

*after the laughter*
Professor: Well, that too.
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"Why do we need statistics? So politicians can lie, that's why!"
-Political Science Professor, starting off a statistics lecture
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Rob: "Are you getting the H1N1 vaccine?"
Emily: "No, I don't get viruses. I have a Mac."

----

"...the reason why I give no sources is that it is a matter of indifference to me whether the
thoughts that I have had have been anticipated by someone else"
-refusing to do a bibliography
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Emily: Como se dice "giraffe" in Spanish? [How do you say "giraffe in Spanish?]
Raaji: ...Giraffe?
Emily (pointing to picture): Si [Yes]
Raaji: That's a zebra. 
-On foreign animals
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For more quotes click on the "Funny Quotes" Tab in the menu bar above :)

Home

 These days are spinning out of my hands, leaping out in reds and greens and transient blacks and I keep running into a giant wall every time I even begin to wonder if all this is heading somewhere. I should be home. That home with the hidden beige walls, the green curtains that hides just about everything, the comforter that never keeps me warm at night, my sister calling me from over my head, that old lamp that doesn't stand on its own anymore, the smell of burning tea, Mom's endless chatter, Dad's giant hugs - it's all tugging incessantly but here I am, convinced that my place is here, in this city that refuses to let me be.

And you sang again last night. Something fervent, something tragic, something yearning. Dewdrops smiled and I forgot about my worries for a moment or two. I captured it all and stored it in. It's strange that what gives meaning to this moment, is what is leading me away from any semblance of reality or normalcy, rendering my existence quite obsolete for now. Perhaps, it is my imagination. Perhaps, it is you. Or perhaps it's because there is really no home.

Beloved Friend.

When I met her the last time - without knowing that it would be my last - it was the morning of our graduation day. I was running a little late so I ran up to a particular group of women dressed in black cap and gowns huddled together at the side of the quad. As soon as I approached them, she came forward and said, "Look at you, all adorned with your medals, making all of us look bad." The rest laughed and before I could say anything in response she embraced me and whispered in my ear, '"You are meant to do great things, love." I smiled and congratulated her.

Four years ago, I met her during freshman orientation and immediately thought that she was absolutely gorgeous. Within the next few days I discovered the beautiful person she actually was in addition to being gorgeous. Soon after, I asked her to model for me for a photo shoot for the University's fashion magazine I was working for at the time. She gladly agreed, spend an afternoon with me in scorching heat and patiently posed in all the ways I wanted. We chatted, we bonded, we laughed. And as they say, the rest is history.

Now after four years, there we were - five of us, including her - on the academic quad in our cap and gowns, congratulating each other, knowing how we have grown and changed over the years from silly girls to mature women - reminiscing about how accomplished we all have been and looking forward to a promised future.

"So how many times have I asked you to get your butt down to Miami?" she asked me with pretentious anger.

"Umm... a couple thousand times?" I joked.

"I am serious. Every summer you tell me that you will come and you never do," she protested.

"I know, I would love to. And I will," I assured her, as I always did.

"This summer before you start your job, you better be there,"

"We'll make a plan, I will try my best," I replied.

We had to part then. It was time for us to find our assigned seats and get seated before the ceremony began. We all quickly gave each other a hug and she said to me, "I love you girly!" with her brightest smile. I held her tight and said, "I am going to miss you so much!" - without either one of us knowing how much I was really going to miss her. But I am glad I got a chance to tell her that.

I never went to Miami, her hometown, not because I didn't want to. She was one of my closest friends and I wanted to go down to the beach and spend time with her and her lovely family. But I always thought there was another summer, there was another holiday when I could visit her. She kept asking and I kept thinking that I had time. But the truth is, we never have time and neither did I. There is never a good time to do anything. Its all crap what they say that things happen in their own time. Things happen when you make them happen or they don't happen at all. The right time is always NOW.

Two weeks ago, she died in a car crash. Today is her birthday. She did not live to see herself turn 22.

  Beloved friend. 1988-2010

                                                                      Rest In Peace. 

(I am especially fond of this photograph. She used to tie her hair up like that whenever she was ready to tackle some big project... and that pimple which really bothered her)