The Right Thing.

For what it's worth, I didn't really mean to do it, but somehow I ended up standing outside of the Nordstorm where I had been browsing for gifts earlier. And, I wasn't empty handed. Somehow, I had managed to get out of the store with $600 worth of stuff (okay, there were only three items but that's how much they would have cost me) without paying for them. Not only did I get here with these things in my hands but most importantly I came out of the store without any alarms going off even though I had just passed through those doors with scanners on both sides. While trying to solve that puzzle, I realized that this was something to actually be excited about. I had successfully managed to get some really good quality $600 worth of stuff.... for free! I have shoplifted without even trying and all I need to do is walk away slowly, pretend nothing is out of the ordinary and this would be a great day.

As I became giddy at the sheer thought of getting free gifts in my hands, and began to thank my lucky stars, the good old conscience woke up just to ruin my moment of excitement, and triggered the back-and-forth pros and cons battle in my head which went something like this: This is stealing. No, it's not - it's called luck. You are not entitled to these goods without payment. I am not buying them for myself - these are gifts. What if you get caught, you will go to jail! No I won't. Relax, it's not that big of a deal. God is watching. Karma is a bitch. Don't do it.

It turned out that 'God' was trigger for me, otherwise I was determined to win this battle with my conscience. God was close to me and disappointing God was not exacttly the kind of thing I had in mind especially not during this time of the year. I sighed,  I looked up and addressed God: I am going to turn around and pay for these items because I know it is the right thing to do and stealing is against my faith, but damn it, I better be rewarded for this!

So with a heavy heart I turned around knowing that I would regret it at some point later, I did it anyway because it was the right thing to do and if I did the right thing I would be rewarded, and that reward could potentially be much more than $600.

But the truth is, we don't do anything because it is the right thing to do. We do it out of fear or for a reward. We believe that we will get something out of it. For the people of faith, it's about fearing or pleasing God. For some it's about getting praise, for others it's about karma, yet for some others it's about impressing someone in particular, and there are a few who just do the right things to boost their ego -  to make themselves feel better. But all of us are in some way doing the right thing, not because it is the right thing to do but because we are hoping for something better in return. I wonder if we can ever truly do something in this world without looking for something in return. We help a friend so that they will help us at some other point in our lives. We create networks to get ahead. We work hard to make more money. We love only to be loved.  I wonder if "values" really is anything to us. Or perhaps it's just a word we use to mask our selfishness and sheer lack of any morality. We are almost always driven by ulterior motives. It's all about the profit and the gain - for us only.

As for me, I am still waiting for my reward of doing the "right thing."