Momentary Lapse of Reason.

I suppose it isn't all that bad when you are dying with someone rather than without.

I Romanticize 

Thank you.

Without a doubt, just when I am about to lose all faith in humanity, someone comes and picks me up. Someone fights - someone fights for me - someone fights with me and not let me give up. That someone is almost always a stranger. While, I am not underestimating the love and kindness that my family and friends have shown me over the years, I cannot help but be struck by the kindness of total strangers some times. Over the years, their stories have shaped mine, their actions have affected my life whether they know it or not, and their kindness and has made me believe. Really believe. And without faith I would be nowhere today.

I know that with the kind of lives we lead today, all full of mayhem and chaos, it is very hard to be kind, and it is extremely hard to take out the time to be kind and generous towards someone who you have nothing to do with and will probably never see again. Ever. But some people are, and those some - however few they are - save the lives of some others, like me.

So, thank you, strangers and dear readers. You have made more of a difference than you know. Happy Thanksgiving.

Autumn Blessings.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I love autumn so much. Can you ever find such beauty seemingly growing out of nowhere during any other time of the year? Such rawness, such delicacy, such wisdom. Delicious autumn!

Don't you see... this is the new beginning! Not the new year, not the summertime when the sun is bright as ever, not even the spring. This is the time when the true colors come out, when we find out who is the most resilient, the most tender and so brave even though it's so fragile. Look at these leaves, so raw, so brave, so full of life. I am in awe.


For more fall photos: I Romanticize

[7] Sunday

What a Sunday it is. To feel pampered when I am broken, to get breakfast in bed (eggs, hash browns, pancakes, and orange juice to be exact), followed by a delicious cup of coffee. A pair of hands tucking me under blankets and pillows because I am bed-ridden for a few days. Medicine delivered on time after every few hours; light music to sooth my hurting head. A few books by the bedside to give me company for when I want to engage in some literature, and feed my fantasies. A few kisses on the cheeks and fingers caressing my hair from time to time. Warm, delicious hot chocolate in the afternoon. The newspaper read and discussed. Long distance phone calls on and off throughout the day. An Al Pacino movie in the evening. A slice of cheesecake for the lady to sum it all up. The feeling of the warmest, coziest bed at night. Sleepy little me.

Sometimes you break a leg, and the next thing you know, you are being spoiled. Sometimes, you need to break a leg in order to realize what you are blessed with, and how much you are really loved. We quickly lose sight of that. A sudden break from your daily life allows you to take a look at it in a whole new light. It forces you to think about what's really essential and what's completely useless. It summons your courage and that of your friends. I think once in a while, it's important to break a leg or an arm, or sprain an ankle, or bruise your head. But it's important to break something in order to heal, and to get some perspective on life, and love, and God.

I hope you had a wonderful weekend, too.

Baseball, Childhood, and Such.

Baseball always reminds me of childhood: Playing catch with dad. Playing in the league. Tossing a ball with friends. Teaching my little nephew how to pitch. Being the hitter for the first time. Making a home run. Hitting someone on the head with the baseball bat. Hitting someone in the crotch with the baseball bat. Religiously going to watch the Red Sox.  The feeling you get when you actually catch the ball. Pitching.

Such wonderful days were they. Everything was an adventure then. It was the time when winning the game was the biggest worry and the biggest joy. It was the time when training for it was a religion, the coach was the god and team mates were the people you would trust your life with. And now... now, I'd be lucky if I have time to catch a game on the T.V. If only I could be so oblivious again, to feel such joy without knowing it, mistaking it for laughter.


For More Photos: I Romanticize

The Welcome Notes

Writers - they turn words into magic and mystery. They create a whole different universe for your pleasure. while making you think in ways you didn't imagine you could. They make you fall in love, encourage you to summon the courage you never thought you possessed and then they brutally break your heart. And it all starts with how they capture your heart in the first place - on the first page.

Following are a few opening lines that captured my heart [I couldn't put these books down after reading these lines] and I am hoping that they would capture yours as well.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair."
~Charles Dickens, "A Tale of Two Cities" 1859
---

"It was a queer, sultry summer, the summer they electrocuted the Rosenbergs, and I didn't know what I was doing in New York. I'm stupid about executions. The idea of being electrocuted makes me sick, and that's all there was to read about in the papers -- goggle-eyed headlines staring up at me on every street corner and at the fusty, peanut-smelling mouth of every subway. It had nothing to do with me, but I couldn't help wondering what if would be like, being burned a live all along your nerves."
~Sylvia Plath, "The Bell Jar" 1963
---

"My name is Towner Whitney. No, that's not exactly true. My real name is Sophya. Never believe me. I lie all the time.
I am a crazy woman... That last part is true."
~Brunonia Barry, "The Lace Reader" 2009
---

'Who am I? and how, I wonder, will this story end?"
~Nicholas Sparks, "The Notebook" 1996
---

"Gestures are all that I have; sometimes they must be grand in nature. And while I occasionally step over the line and into the world of the melodramatic, it is what I must do in order to communicate effectively. In order to make my point without question."
~Garth Stein, "The Art of Racing in the Rain" 2009
---

"Who wouldn't be skeptical when a man claims to have spent an entire weekend with God, in a shack no less? And this was the shack."
~William P. Young, "The Shack" 2007
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[I encourage you to share your favorite excerpts :-)]

Life is Funny [31]

 For your entertainment, following are a few conversations with the wonderful people in my life... :-)   

"You guys! I just saw a shooting star! Oh my god! There it is again!"
-Emily, drunk and pointing at lightening bugs
---

E (while looking at a map): Where is Arkansas?
Raaji: You are looking at the map.
E: Yeah?
Raaji: That's Arkansas
E: Where is it on the map?
Raaji: You are looking at the map of Arkansas.
E: Oh.
---

"I can't handle my own mind. I can't turn me off!"
-Panicking
---

Alex: This is so hard, I need a drink to get through this.
Wes: I am bringing it to class. Nowhere in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Katie: That's what I've been saying for weeks!
-On consensus
---

"I was born on my birthday"
-Raaji, in an attempt to avoid answering the when-were-you-born question.
---

While playing scrabble,
Megan: Noon. Is that a word?
Raaji: Yes.
Megan *looking at the board*: But it's upside down!
---

"I know this is very complicated but do what you need to do to make this work. Take anger management classes, do drugs, take a few shots before you come in here or whatever you need to do to get through this semester."
-Law professor, on statistical regression.
---

On the phone...
Raaji: It is getting colder here. How is the weather there?
Steph: I don't think it has made up its mind as to what the hell it wants these days.
-on temperature fluctuations.
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[For more Funny Quotes, click on the 'Funny Quotes" tab in the menu bar above]

Words, words, or I shall burst.

Grant me some wild expressions, Heavens, or I shall burst -
Words, words, or I shall burst.

Some word, they are lost - to translation, to emotion, to bad luck, to downright stupidity.  These are the words so carefully crafted but never uttered.

Some words just don't make it out, for it is not their fate. They are meant to be written down but never to be shown, or seen, or cared for. All of that thoughtful emotion, all of that hard work, just useless. What a shame. Their fate is to burn alone or fly away into the unknown. These hidden gems remain buried, never to be found. Just like some of us, always lonely, always kept at a distance. Always just... fading. 

[6] Sunday

Today, I went leaf picking. I do this every year. During fall I go on evening strolls with my basket and pick leaves. Not berries, not flowers, not even apples, but leaves. I think these are the most beautiful things - the rusty golds, the reds, the greens, and the browns - layer after layer neatly placed on the ground or sticking to the trees. Some holding on to life a little longer while others embracing their new journeys while dancing with the winds. That's death and life, you see. Everything is so raw in them; their delicacy and tenderness tickle my heart.

Sometimes I come across neighbors and bystanders during my walks. They seem a little confused as to what I am doing. I tell them it is for an art project. It's true. It is for an art project. It's called the art of living, its called the art of learning from nature, it's the art of appreciating what life has to offer us, it's the art of acknowledging the beauty and in a way developing a taste for it too. It is the art few people master. It's the art of elegantly piecing it together - the art of staying happy. As for me, I think I am getting there, more and more every year, towards loving, and appreciating and finally mastering the art of life.

Here are a few photos from today:

For more photographs: As The Seasons Change

Autumn Longings

This campus is strangely quiet now. Even when I try, I hear no sounds at all  - not even the chirping of a bird or a rustle of a leaf. As I make my way back from the library, shortly after my morning class, I come across no human being. I  know there are people in all these buildings that I am walking by, but I do not see anyone outside today. Today is a fine example of solitude. Living among 3, 500 people in this small campus, I am still alone. Not a word - not a sound - not a human in sight.

It's amazing how this is such a close community - we all share rooms, and dorms, and apartments - and we are still alone. We struggle to find the right kind of friends, the right kind of partners and if one of us is ever lucky enough to find that, the others make sure that it doesn't last.

Am I in the wrong place in the wrong time? I plug the ear phones my ears. Ironically it plays, Ay Ajanabi...

Ay Ajnabi, Tu bhi kabhi awaz de kahin se
Main yahan tukro'on mein jee raha hoon.

Wandering Stranger...
Hey stranger, why don't you call out for me too.
I am here, living in pieces.