These have been long overdue. But here goes:

Sam & Peter to a mutual friend after a sleepover:
Sam: You, my man, can really snore. One minute he is awake, the next minute it's like there are a bunch of motorcycles going by.
Peter: Oh, that explains all the motorcycles in my dream last night.
---

Raaji: When was the last time you got this car washed? Never, right?
Dylan: No, no... it rains every now and then.
---

Three cups of tea. And how many shots?
-Komal
---

U: We won the cricket match!
Raaji: Yes we did! It was close but we made it happen.
U: Yeah we tried our best to lose but somehow we managed to win.
---

A dear friend leaves a voice-mail on my phone....
Hey, where are you? Pick up. Pick up! Pick up!! Pick up!!! Pick Up!!!! *Pause* Now that is not working, is it? Alright, call me back.
---

How long do you have to keep it in?
-Milton, on taking the hot wings contest.
---

Dylan: Shh... you are loud, we are in the library.
Raaji: People get distracted when they can hear other people, I talk so fast, its like background noise.